A couple days ago I woke my brother up because his alarm clock didn't go off and he was going to be late for work. After he left I started thinking how I do not miss the mad-morning rush of going to work, nor the mad-evening rush of returning home to try to relax, catch up on things, commitments made, try to fit in a hobby, exercise, or anything else on my long list of things that weren't even possible to fit into my schedule. (And to think I didn't even have children!)
I quit my job 4 years ago during my pregnancy with my daughter. It was a hard, long pregnancy, and sometimes I think even harder since I was home all the time and the circumstances at that time weren't pleasant. Since making the decision to stay home and not seek employment to "add" to our family's finances, there have been numerous times I've thought about going back to work, thought I was bored, didn't see a point in depriving myself of my own money, etc. etc. However, in the last year of the past 4 that I've stayed home, I have found a purpose, a new vision for staying home. Yes, I'm a stay-at-home-mom. However, more than that a "Homemaker". I am not a housekeeper, but a Homemaker. My Home is my canvas, my laboratory, my library, my sanctuary, my gardens, my love, my handiwork. A house is a building. A home has to be made and molded into a place of rest, rejuvenation, discipleship, and love. A house is not this unless a mother has touched it, made it special, and molded it to the needs of her family. ~Anyone can take twigs and grass and try to make what resembles a nest. However, when a mother bird is preparing her nest, she molds it to the perfect shape for her eggs. She takes great care in adding security with the twigs and sturdier pieces, yet she adds paper, hair, and even fur to make it comfortable and soft for her offspring. ~ How much more important is it for me (as a Christ-follower) to make my life and our home comfortable, inviting, and warm to those I'm responsible for; as well as those who I come in contact with. As Christ-followers we are instructed to be hospitable, (Romans 12:13, Titus 1:8, 1Timothy 3:2, even a pre-requisite for a widow to be taken care of by the church-1Timothy 5:9 &10, 1Peter 4:9, ). How can I leave my home to take care of someone else's business/affairs/children and expect to be aware of my own families needs, much less have the proper state of mind and time to devote to them.
This has turned into a longer blog than I planned, however, I just want to reiterate what brought me to these thoughts in the first place. Alarm Clocks. Having to wake up on someone else's schedule, to do someone else's work, for someone else's family, and leaving my domain. This doesn't apply to a man, because from the beginning the Man was to work. Women were to have children and raise families. Although many women do work some because of needing to feel important in a society that doesn't value mothers and femininity, some work because of debts that have been incurred, and some feel they don't have an option because of one reason or another. Whatever the reasons and I've had them all....I chose to stay at home and make the necessary changes in our life, our budget, and it has brought greater joys, peace, and unity to our home than I ever imagined. What I thought was a dream, to REALLY be a mother and care for my family, I'm learning is God's plan for women and there is no greater role for us. If God is God and He made us, doesn't He know what will ultimately fulfill us? Our needs, our desires, our wants? He set things in motion a certain way in the very beginning of time. Who are we to think that His laws and rules are obsolete because we think we have obtained a "higher" level of thinking and reasoning? He said (Isaiah 55:8) that "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Who are we to change our purpose because we think something else is better for us than something that He's commanded?
These are things I've been pondering the last year and as I've worked towards being more obedient to God's perfect design, our family has been blessed by opportunities, peacefulness, unity, and even our finances have fallen into line. I'll write more later about what we've been doing financially and our lifestyle changes to work towards becoming more of a woman of the Bible's standards, rather than the world's standard. There are lifestyle changes. There are some sacrifices. However it's built stronger securities within our family and with a righteous security comes peace.
Sometimes I think maybe I would like to get a job to contribute to the finances, but then I remember the alarm clock, the extra taxes, the daycare, the reoccurring illnesses, the extra gas money, the box lunches or continual fast food, the traffic, the dress codes (which means having to spend more on work clothes and less on going camping or other family pleasures), the chaos trying to get everything caught up on the weekends, the stress filled grocery trips, the lack of time to prepare balanced and special meals, the lack of time to just cuddle and do nothing when my husband gets home because I have other stuff to do, the answering to two bosses instead of just my husband's when we want to fly the coop and visit family or travel, and the list goes on.....Then I think , Nah....turn on some music, pour myself a cup of sweet tea, and take my daughter outside to pick spinach, water the flowers, and play on the swing set.
I like living on a budget and although my husband makes a good wage, it's very important to only count on that. Not to live outside of what he provides. I need to allow him the feeling of accomplishment, masculinity and importance in taking care of his family. He needs to feel like he's taking care of me and the family, not being in competition with me. That's his accomplishment to own. That's his calling, his duty. He can not fulfill the thing God told women to do and that was to bear children (I am very mindful that some women aren't able... as is God, but our goal and purpose to take care of our family remains the same, with or without children). A wonderful story (When Queens Ride By) on this principle made me think further on how women are women and men are men and who are we to hog their purpose and leave them with nothing!
OK, time to close...off to get dinner!
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